It is said one does not need many friends, just a few good ones. As I look back on my life, I can see it is true. The faithful few are the ones who matter. As I’m pondering the benefit of friendship, it is good to know the Lord Himself calls those who are in personal relationship with Him, His friends. Wow. I am a friend of God. How can this be? And I can’t let it go unsaid that Jesus is the best friend of all. But it is through His person and character we find qualities for earthly friends. We have all we need in Him, but He gives us people to love because He knows we need community.
Christian women should have friends who love the Lord. Those who will pray alongside you and cheer you on when times are tough. Those who text back immediately even when long-distance separates and who call when they set a time to chat. These are quality friends.
My husband and I left some precious friends in Rhode Island when we moved to Mississippi. But this past weekend, one flew here for a visit. She was with us a couple of days, and then she, myself, and my husband drove to Louisiana to see a mutual friend get married. A weekend entirely about friendship. These times are to be cherished.
So what do you think matters when it comes to friendship? Here’s my list…
- Loyalty or Faithfulness – This woman will stand by you, doesn’t breathe a word of your confidence, and prays. Years later, she is still adding value to your life.
- Spiritually Compatible – This woman pursues God. She cares about what God cares about. She listens when godly advice is given.
- Appreciation – This woman sees your kingdom contribution and appreciates your service to Him and all your other roles in life. There is no jealousy, only support.
- Presence – This woman is a good friend. She doesn’t create drama. She doesn’t ask what she can do when you are in trouble; she knows what to do. She is there, but she isn’t in the way.
- Respect – This woman stands on her own 2 feet, but if she needs help, she accepts it gladly as a blessing. She knows the boundary lines and a healthy relationship is an ongoing goal.
I think this is a good list. These qualities grow as the relationship grows and prove themselves over time. If you have friends in your inner circle who put you down, criticize you, and don’t care about the things you care about, it’s time to make some new friends. Ask God to put you in situations, so you’re in contact with healthy women and see if He won’t allow a friend to emerge.
Life is too hard, and God is too good not to have a few sweet and loving women in your life. Again, quality is better than quantity. And remember to keep the Lord first, and He will direct your path toward those women who are good and healthy for your life.
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” C. S. Lewis